Identified In Christ: Matthew Grech

“If they saw me, they would mock me.” How I only wish I knew Jesus back then.

Why do I have to play sports to fit in with my friends? Why do people make jokes about me being gay? What can I do to prove my friends wrong? These are some of the questions I asked myself as I faced an emotionally tormenting upbringing.

My Dad and older brother liked football. It wasn’t for me. I was a creative. I heard music in my spirit. I longed to find someone who would understand the beauty of my universe. As a teenager, some girls made jokes about me being gay.  I never told my parents or my siblings about this. It was too embarrassing. My ‘friends’ probably picked up on the fact that I was fascinated by a young footballer whom I found to be extremely handsome.

Lost in my fantasy world, I quickly realized this became a real struggle. I began to find guys attractive. I retreated into a world of loneliness, shame, intimidation, and frustration. I tried to be in a relationship with a girl, but I had deep insecurity. Trying to be with a guy was the only solution that came to mind. I tried it, and it felt pleasing to my flesh and emotions. Yet, deep down I knew I didn’t really want it for myself. 'I wanted to get married, have a wife, and raise children.' I hid my romantic life from my family, because I felt it was disgraceful and abnormal. I wondered what my future would look like. 

Aged 19, I made friends with a kind woman who shared Jesus with me. She warned me about some new age beliefs I had developed, and invited me to a prayer gathering. I went, and was completely amazed at the way these Christians worshiped God, and loved one another. I felt accepted! I felt loved! I felt special! They expressed such intimacy with the God they worshiped. It was hard to resist. The pastor publicly located me, and said: “I sense that God wants to tell you that He really loves you.” 

That’s it! I fell in love. “If God loves me, then I want to get to know Him.” I bought my first bible, was convicted of personal sin, and left homosexuality. I felt empowered and comforted by the Holy Spirit. With a deep sense of alignment with my life purpose and destiny, in Jesus I was found, and I found myself! 

Watch Matthew's Testimony

We would like to thank our friends at X-Out Loud, Core Issues Trust and Voices of the Silenced for this video.

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Romans 10:9-10
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.


 2017 by Aina Eniola