"It started slowly, but then the idea that I was ‘born that way’ was strong."
My story begins in my mother’s womb when she wanted to have a baby boy. My mother would cut my hair short, which thing I never liked. I was impacted by the difference in attention that my parents gave to my little brother. The root of rejection sprung up inside of me.
Unfortunately, character misunderstandings between my parents triggered continuous quarrels between them. I didn’t feel loved at home, and this created an affection deficit that I sought to replace by various means. For the first time, I experienced the feeling of being important for someone, when a schoolgirl tried to have an affair with me as if I was a boy.
It was pleasant to me, and I fell in love. I couldn’t wait to see her at school. I became convinced that this was my identity. It started slowly, but then the idea that I was ‘born that way’ was strong.
I found myself having story after story, until I went deep into the world of homosexuality. In that world, I thought I found myself, the real me. So much so, that I desired to obtain my Spanish residence permit to marry the woman I thought I loved, and form a family with her. It was only a lie that I formed in my mind because I wanted to gratify the desires of my flesh.
For years, I found myself battling insomnia, bulimia, and anorexia. I sought the love that I didn’t receive from my mother in other women. It superficially felt like I didn’t lack anything, but I was the only one who knew the demons I battled within the night.
It started slowly, but then the idea that I was ‘born that way’ was strong.
God had a different plan for my life. He used the last woman with whom I was in a relationship, to bring me to church and to reveal Himself to me. Jesus never leaves us in bondage. Jesus reaches out to us with an authentic profound love, saving and delivering us as we allow Him. I am one of many who has been filled with the true effective love of Jesus who broke every chain that held me to my vices, habits, and transgressions.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,before you were born I set you apart;I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Today when I confront the theme of homosexuality, I speak of it with joy. I feel the powerful love and compassion of Christ in me towards people. I am not a slave anymore to that false identity, and Jesus revealed to me who I truly am in Him. I know whom I belong to. I learned to accept and love myself for who I really am. All the emptiness I had before was filled with the power of the Holy Spirit through the love of Jesus.
"And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness"
Watch Nausica's Testimony